It is disturbing. It is perturbing.
That, sometimes, people’s mind and intentions appear to be so apparent to me.
Emerge so clearly.
Contrary to words emitted from their contorted mouth.
Agitated, I am. Emotionally.
I wish I could be indifferent. To that inconsistency.
Accepting it as a way we, human, are normally socially engaged.
Accepting that we thus essentially are actors.
That dramaturgy theory.
Making up faces as masks, not as genuinely reflection of what’s beneath.
All in smoke and mirrors.
I wish I could.
Apparently I could not.
I’m disturbed. I find it repugnant.
Ugly, hideous, loathsome creature. Insincere human is.
Now I wish I were not this cynical. I wish I did not have this quality of being thoroughly observant.
Unfortunately I have. Too much in intensity, I might say.
And the most terrible thing I could think out of this.
Is the fact that I am part of them.
Enforced to interact the way they do.
Entrapped in this cultural way of surviving.
Getting used to it.
I am becoming part of something that I detest.
Isn’t that the utmost horrific thing one could ever imagine happening to oneself?
subconsciously dissolving into a system you’ve been hating…….